Who is your rival?

Life almost always does not give us what we want but at least it gives us the chance to fight for what we want. And we all want someone or something to care about us and sometimes show appreciation for what we do for them. This is particularly true about our relationships. All works out well when we are usually the focus of attention, love and care.

The sad news is that this will not always be the case as others will come along and either share in this or take the focus away from us. This can be other people, siblings, friends, child,  colleagues or even pets, cars, new pair of shoes and a house just to mention a few.

So let me ask who is your rival? A simple question but it can also be heart breaking depending on which side of the equation you find yourself. In my young adult life I have seen a man worship and adore his car and handled it with more care than he did his wife. His wife usually watches on jealously as the husband touches this object tenderly and with admiration. Once she told her friend ‘’if only he would look at me with the same sparkle in his eyes as he does his car’’.

This woman would have had a chance to fight for his attention if it was another human being but how do you even begin to compete with a car? Or in other instances a pet, shoes etc. it is emotionally hard to have a human rival not to talk of an object.

Some men have also complained about the focus of attention, love and care shifting from them to their newly born babies and children. As funny as this may sound, it has led to a lot of problems in marriages. If care is not taken, that child can become a rival to the father through no fault of his.

I will not be able to fully understand the dynamics of what makes a mother love one child and not the other but it happens and parents should be careful how they approach this as it has very deadly consequences. Children take this badly and sometimes it can lead to suicide, depression and hatred for the other sibling.  

It is easy to think that you are not jealous but wait till the attention, love and care you once knew move from you to someone else and if you are not so lucky to an inanimate object.





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