Archive | March 2013

You won in the womb

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It was echoed into her being that she was never good enough.

After years of the same message, she believed

Until she was transported back to the beginning

The prize was an egg and the competitors were thousands.

She won the race and made it to the egg   

And that is why she is here

Is that not good enough, that she won in the womb?    

Daily Prompt: Trading Places- Face off

Poster of the Movie face off

Poster of the Movie face off

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be a member of the opposite sex for a day? What do you think life would be like?

Well if you are a woman listening to the song ‘’if I were a boy’’ by Beyoncé featuring R Kelly (remix of ‘’if I were a boy’’) you turn to agree with her until R Kelly gives his version of what it feels like to be a boy.  

I have always said that don’t be too quick as a woman to say you would perform better as a man because you don’t have the genes of a man. There are men who also think that the world is only fair to women (debatable though).

Yes am beginning to talk too much so let me answer the question now, I don’t want to walk in a man’s shoes for a day because that would be the most awkward walk  of my life.

But if it does happen this is what I know for sure:

  1. In an interview I would be rated base on my performance and not looks
  2. I would not have to work extra harder to prove I can do the job a man can do
  3. I would not be blamed for being the victim of rape  
  4. It would be ok for me to have a wife and a girl on the side
  5. I would not be abuse and still think it’s my fault

Well don’t hate me I just think that it would be fun.

Glimpse of the future

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I lie on my bed and coil facing the wall and at that exact moment I am not alone. He caresses my face and touches my lips softly. His breath is warm upon my skin. He promises to love me the way I deserve and I smile at him with dilated eyes. He whispers ‘’don’t tell me you love me, for it is in your eyes’’. I nod gently and smile. I refuse to let go because it is all in my head. Then suddenly the door cracks open and he says ‘’Honey I am homeeee’’…………….   

My boobs can do the job

Watch this video before you go any further. Feminist please be warned, you might not like this.

I have a friend who sends me a lot of messages, text, pictures and videos through WhatsUp. Most of these are usually funny and are aimed to help make my day. But this day he sent me a video that kept me thinking. It is a simple cartoon video of an interview session.
In the video this is what ensued: Note: the man is the interviewer and the woman the interviewee.

Man: I see you are here to apply for the executive secretary position yes?
Woman: please call me Natasha

Man: ok then Natasha do you have any experience as a secretary?
Woman: absolutely none

Man: do you have any specialized training in the field?
Woman: no

Man: well what makes you think you are right for this job then?
Woman: I’ve got a huge rock (I didn’t hear that well though it sounded like rack)

Man: excuse me?
Woman: these boobs caused me three thousand dollars each, that is way more than it cause to go to a secretary school you know

Man: so you think having rather large breast will get you this job then?
Woman: well I hope you don’t choose a secretary because she can type a letter, answer the phone or get coffee. I mean anyone can do that

Man: am at a loss for words
Woman: I get that a lot

Man: well Natasha, aside from the fact that you are lovely to look at how would your huge ‘’melons’’ be an asset to this organization?
Woman: look let’s say you are about to sign a big contract with an important client but he is hesitating, he is not sure. The deal is
about to fall through right. I come into your office with an important document for you to sign I bend over in my low cut dress and give them a little wiggle like this. What do you think he is going to do when I leave your office?
Man: sign the contract

Woman: that’s right
Man: right then can you start tomorrow?

Woman: no problem honey
Man: please call me Charles.

Well I must say I have always been sad about the impression that women get jobs because of their looks (I mean in some cases it is true) but I would like to belief that most women have the skills and looks (note I bought skills first before looks) to get most jobs. We are yet to be given a fair chance at the job market but these days women are a force to reckon with. That is a topic for another day.

What impressed me (call me crazy) about this video is the ladies ability to ‘’sell’’ what she could offer the organization. She drew an honest picture about what she could offer (marketing skills if you ask me) the company.
Most people go to interviews with all the qualifications, certificates and skills and yet are not able to convince the organization about what their contribution would be should they be hired.

Forget about the ‘’bad’’ image this video is painting about women and the advantages of their looks and focus on the way this lady was able to convince the company about what it is that she can contribute to the company.
For me this is the lesson am taking from this video.
Watch the video, it is more expressive than I was able to capture in text.

Daily Prompt: Judgment day-The gods are not to blame

If you were to judge your favorite book by its cover, would you still read it?

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My first encounter with one of my favorite books was my first year at senior high school. My literature teacher came in and listed the books we were supposed to buy for the three year period of studies. Some of the books were Shakespeare’s ‘’The merchant of Venice’’, ‘’Weep not Child’’ by Ngugi Wa thiong’o and selected poems by African writers like Wole Soyinka and many others.

Since I was in a boarding school, I soon made a call to my parents to buy the books since we were given a time frame. Soon my books arrived and since my favorite subject was English literature, I soon started looking though the books.

One book with a yellow cover and a picture of a man with thick lenses on the cover stood out. This was not because it had an attractive cover, far from it. The book looked ordinary and did not attract any attention but there was a title that screamed out in red. I was intrigued by the title ‘’The gods are not to blame’’. I wanted to know what this book was about and what made the author title the book this way.

I soon found out the book was a play written by a Nigerian writer called Ola Rotimi and it is an adaptation of a play entitled ‘’Oedipus Rex’’ by Sophocles. This book is a tragedy about a prince whose destiny was foretold at birth that he would kill his father and marry his mother. As he grew up he run from home as not to fulfill this destiny but he ended up doing exactly that.  

For me what made this book one of my favorite was the rich Nigerian/ African culture portrayed in the book as well as the many African proverbs used. My literature class always came to life when we debated about whether the protagonist of the story was to blame for his tragic end or it was destiny. I loved every bit of those debates.

Judging this book by the cover, I don’t think I would have given this book a blink in a book store. What drew me to this book was the title and the fact that it was a must for school but today it is one of my all-time favorite books.   

Wait a minute, you dont know me

This Plaque sits in my room reminding me of that night.

This Plaque sits in my room reminding me of that night.

Growing up was fun because I was left in the care of my grandmother (God bless her soul). She loved and spoiled me to bits. I could do no wrong in her eyes and she would sacrifice everything to give me what I wanted. I was therefore shocked to find out later in life that the reason why my grandmother was nicked named ‘’De Gaulle’’ (she was nick named after General De Gaulle of France) was because she was a disciplinarian and very strict. Well, either she loved me too much to show me that side of her or something just changed at her old age (I think people do really soften up with age).

 All this pampering did give me a happy childhood but it had its disadvantages, I could do nothing for myself and I became timid and extremely shy because I hardly left the sight of my grandmother to mingle with other kids my age.

Well, well, well, how time flies because I became an adult too quickly and was soon on my way to the university. For the first time in my adult life I was going to be in charge of my life. This means managing everything from time, money, relationships and studies. This was way too difficult for me because I was still timid. When I say timid I mean that girl that will not approach you until you do and the one who will walk right to her room after lectures without saying a word to anyone. That is not to say I had no friends, I had quite a number of friends with whom I could be myself. I had amazing roommates who made life on campus a joyous one.

Then one day the spotlight was on me and I was one of the popular girls on campus. My name was wide spread and people I did not know would meet me and call me by name and say how proud they are of me. How did this timid girl gain the recognition of a whole region and the whole school? People meet me and say ‘’how did this happen’’? My own father asked me how I did this. This is because even at home I hardly say anything apart from answering YES and NO to my dad’s questions.

I am sure you are eager to know what the entire spotlight is about. Well I became a beauty queen by accident. Some of you reading this know me personally but never knew how I got into this. Remember I said it was by accident. Need an explanation?  Here we go; I was a freshman or a fresher as we say here in Ghana in the university of Cape Coast (the central region of Ghana). One fine morning I was on my way back from lectures when a lady approached me and complimented me saying ‘’you are really pretty and tall, have you thought of taking part in a pageant?’’ I told her point blank it was something I would never even consider because my dad is really strict and will not be please to know I have left my studies to take part in a pageant. I know some of you would be thinking please you are an adult but in Africa or Ghana you are still under the control of your parents once you live under their roof and you are being taken care of by them. I think once I told the lady in question that she left without a word.

It would be about three weeks later before I saw this lady again. She asked if I had changed my mind and my answer was still a NO (a big N and a small o). She again disappeared just as she came. I had totally forgotten about this lady when two weeks later she meets me in my hall of residence in the evening around 7:00pm. She told me that the Miss Central pageant was going on as we speak and she could still arrange for me to take part but I was still adamant. She then agreed that she would not force me to do anything against my will but she would be happy if I could just dress up in my evening gown and go with her to watch the programme and if along the line I have a change of mind she could still get me to take part if I wanted. At this point I said to myself why not just go with her and watch this beauty contest and have fun. A few minutes later we were at the venue for the programme and what I did not realize was that I was backstage with this lady. She quickly introduced me to a group of women as one of the contestants. I was so shocked I could not really say much at this point and a part of me wanted to have fun that evening. After all I have never done anything exciting. But wait, I had no experience in modeling and I had no speech to be able to take part. This lady said to me ‘’I know you are eloquent enough to do this’’. Nobody has ever believed in me this way so I decided to throw caution to the wind and at this point take part.  

Soon I was on stage introducing myself and giving a speech. I answered questions the best I could and the shouts and applauses I heard made me realize I was not doing bad for someone who has not be trained in any way. After I left the stage I told myself all this was over. Just as I was about to leave backstage I heard my name being mentioned as a first runner up. Two of us were selected winners to take part in the national Miss Ghana pageant.

Right there my life changed, I would not be the same girl again. I did not know the magnitude of change that was to ‘’hit’’ me but soon I would found out when my face was all over the newspapers and campus radios were discussing my performance. I was soon granting interviews all over the place. I was then supported with grooming by this lady to enable me take part in the Miss Ghana beauty pageant.

The national pageant soon took place and because the winner redrew, I was soon crowned Miss Central and went on to represent the region in the Miss Ghana pageant. I did not win the crown but I made it to the final five.

That one night changed my whole life, I came out of my shell and my perspective on life changed. Today I am a woman full of confidence who is able to hold conversations and make presentations without being shy. I am now recognized for public speaking and once in a while a colleague at work would approach me to be an MC at their events. Today I can look people in the eyes and speak without flinching. All thanks to this woman and this one night choice I made.

I know there are perceptions about beauty pageants and how they are a waste of money and the girls who take part are pretty faces but not intelligent. I very much beg to differ because, I am a beauty with brains and the world is mine to conquer.